10. I've seen that Cosequin commercial so many times this morning... I am wondering if it would work on me. If it can work on cats, dogs (insert names of various dogs listed on commercial here; I can't remember them, strangely enough?) AND horses, then why can't it work on me?
9. I am apparently so susceptible to advertising that, after a few go rounds with this other commercial, I actually start to doubt whether or not I do, in fact, suffer from a condition known vaguely as vulvar discomfort that can be solved by ordering a special cream for 39 dollars with no shipping charge. NO SHIPPING? That is even better than free shipping. I do NOT need this cream. I PROBABLY need the above mentioned Cosequin product, even if I am not canine, feline or equine. I am not sure exactly what the product does. Why can't I retain anything from these commercials? It is like I am losing the ability to focus. But I do know that I would like to feel more like one of those dogs, cats or horses than myself. They seem so happy, energetic and their coats and manes look so shiny.
8. I will NOT watch The Houstons: On Our Own. It is wrong that I want to watch it. But I do kind of want to know why Bobbi Kristina spits her drink out in the preview. Doesn't it seem exceptionally vulture like to make a reality show of a family in the aftermath of losing a loved one? Let's all sit and watch the survivors wade through the wreckage of their lives, trying to piece it back together while they grieve! Maybe shovel some popcorn in our faces and scratch ourselves! WHAT IS WRONG WITH EVERYONE?
7. I can't watch the scary dance moms show AKA Abby's Ultimate Dance Competition. The previews make my stomach hurt. All the conflict makes me feel like the world is probably going to end soon. I could just flip over to Fox News if I wanted this feeling.
6. The finches I bought last year around this time have not shut up ALL morning. I wonder how such tiny birds can make such loud noises? I wonder how much longer such tiny birds can live? HUH.
5. This is the first time I have watched TV in months. Yet I manage to catch the super annoying and loud test of the emergency broadcast system. I feel like this is punishment for watching TV.
4. Wow. The Cosequin commercial just came back on; and I didn't see any mention of horses. This makes me feel really crazy. ??
3. I don't have any more thoughts. Watching Lifetime this long has killed my spirit and made me feel so unproductive that I literally stopped thinking. Besides, why should a list that starts at 10 and counts down have to stop at 1? This is not a Letterman episode. Obviously. I am so bored.
Tuesday, November 27, 2012
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