Food Diary, Day Whatever

Okay, so I managed to fall off the wagon before it ever got rolling. I forgot to keep a food diary...
This is the problem. I can't stay focused enough to lose any weight!
On Thursday, I had

Oatmeal, with peanut butter

Iced Caramel Macchiato (with THREE shots of glorious espresso)
Curried Chicken Quinoa Salad

1 Dumpling
broccoli
corn
1/2 cup rice
bagel with margarine

Not a terrible day. I didn't feel out of control, and I didn't do any snacking.

Also, we bought a non-digital scale, so I am having a really hard time telling if the number is going down or up. I think I will only know if it goes down or up by at least five pounds either way. In a way this is sort of good, because when we had a digital scale I would weigh myself several times a day and freak over it going up .4 lbs.

A friend at a birthday party suggested Healthy Trim when I complimented her on how much weight she had lost. I thought about it, but I am pretty sure I would wind up having a stroke or something. Really.

I keep catching glimpses of myself in the mirror and not recognizing myself for a split second. I think it hasn't really sunk in yet. It being how much weight I have really gained, and that I am at my all time heaviest, and that I weigh about as much as I did when I went to the hospital to deliver Anna. Have I mentioned that before? I am sure I have! I feel DISGUSTING.